I’ve been watching the news headlines over the past few days regarding the exploits of New York Congressman Weiner. In the worlds eyes, untruthfulness and unfaithfulness seems to be commonplace. America’s mainline media seemed somewhat outraged with his admitting to lasciviousness and his lies, but have limited their comments about the congressman and less about the HURT caused to family and friends. I want to focus my blog today, not on the immorality of a man’s sinfulness but the effect it has on the HEART.
Looking back on my 69 years of life experiences, I can remember past “brokenheartedness“; from teen-age romances, past employer’s hurts, people who I thought were friends but not and so on. After any instance of being hurt, in my mind I would ‘rehearse it, nurse it relive it, instead of releasing it’. The wound would scab over but I would keep picking at the scab. My mother would always remind me when I was a child, “Mel, if you keep picking at your scab, it will never heal!” Mom, you were so right in more ways than you ever knew.
Get your Bible out and lets look together at some Scripture that speaks directly on How To Move Away From Your HURTs.
Psalm 147:1-3 “PRAISE THE Lord! For it is good to sing praises to our God, for He is gracious and lovely; praise is becoming and appropriate.”
“The Lord is building up Jerusalem; He is gathering together the exiles of Israel.”
“He HEALS THE BROKENHEARTED and binds of their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows].”
Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to those who are of a BROKEN HEART and SAVES SUCH as are crushed with sorrow for sin and are humbly and thoroughly penitent.”
Proverbs 18:14 “The strong spirit of a man sustains him in bodily pain or trouble, BUT a weak and broken spirit [HEART], who can raise up or bear?”
Don’t Build A Foundation Of Hurt.
When I turned 22 years old, I was just beginning to date a sweet girl who, seven months later became my wife. I had several broken relationships prior to meeting Dianne. The fact was, my heart had been broken so many times in the past, I had developed a “stronghold” in my spirit. When Scripture refers to the heart metaphorically, it is referring to your will, mind, emotion, and soul or spirit; who you really are. The Greek word used is, kardia. My Pastor referred to the heart last Sunday as “seed-ground”. When the ‘word-seeds’ of hurt enter into your kardia (mind, will, emotions, soul or spirit), A Foundation of Hurt can be established into a stronghold; a “house of thoughts“. This was the foundation built-in my heart when I first met my wife-to-be. I thank God that He had given her the insight to see through my bitterness and anger. Neither of us had accepted Jesus as our Saviour at that time for Jesus didn’t come into our lives until eight years later.
3-Ways in dealing with HURT:
1. Don’t build a foundation of HURTS in your life. It stops you from moving forward every time.
2. HURT will lead to anger, turned inward wich will lead to depression.
3. Making decisions in a foundation of HURT will move you in a wrong direction; away from God.
WRONG WAYS to move away from your HURT:
1. Hurt someone else first.
2. Hardening of your heart.
3. Pretend it really didn’t hurt you.
4. Decide NOT to trust anybody again.
When I was young man, the four “WRONG WAYS” I listed above became a “stronghold” or a “foundation” of who I was in relationships based on previous HURTs. It was centered in my SELFISHNESS; “get them before they get you”, “people are all alike; I don’t trust anyone”, “I’m not hurt, just disappointed”. I thought I was protecting myself from HURT when in reality, my heart had become “hardened”; a heart of stone before I even got to know someone, especially girls. Girls, this can happen to you too if it hasn’t already.
Galatians 5:14 “For the whole Law [concerning human relationships] is complied with in the one precept, You shall love your neighbor as [you do] yourself.”
LOVE is the KEY in any relationship.
If your hardness of heart has been developed from HURT, walking in love around others will heal the wounds.
I Corinthians 13:4-8:
“LOVE endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily, it is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong—HURT]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, BUT rejoices when right and truth prevail…” THERE’S MORE;
Verse 7-8, “LOVE bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ready to BELIEVE THE BEST OF EVERY PERSON…”
If you find yourself in hurt as you are reading this blog and doubt the way in removing the hurt, look at the first three words of,
Verse 8, “LOVE NEVER FAILS [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]…”
If you are not walking in LOVE, then HURT will remain. Galatians 5:19-21 says, you will continue to walk in the flesh.
FREEDOM from HURT.
Galatians 4:31; 5:1 says, “So, brethren, we [who are born again] are not children of a slave woman [the natural], but of the free [the supernatural]. IN THIS FREEDOM Christ, has made us free [and completely liberated us]; stand fast then, and do not be hampered and held ensnared and submit again to the yoke of slavery [which you have once put off].” Amplified version and the bracketed words by, Joseph S. Exell, ed., The Biblical Illustrator.
Do I mean that if you’re “born again” believer and set free, a person won’t ever be HURT? No, God’s Word doesn’t say that but what it does tell us in our spiritual walking, the attitude toward “being hurt”.
Luke 10:19 says, “Behold! I have given you authority and power to trample upon serpents and scorpions, and [physical and mental strength and ability] over all the power that the enemy [possesses]; and nothing shall in any way harm you.”
So does my HURT come from the enemy, the devil? Most likely, but more importantly he prevents you from “moving away from your hurts”. It’s his strategy; walking in the flesh that can render you inoperative in your faith and testimony to others. When HURT hits you like a guided missile, remember God’s instructions to the Ephesian Church who must have been experiencing feelings of hurt at times. Not with just non-beleivers but within the assembly.
Ephesians 6:11 tells us to “Put on God’s whole armor [the armor of heavy-armed soldiers which God supplies], that you may be able successfully stand up against [all] the strategies of the devil.”
Ephesians 6:16 tells you, when someone hurts you where you feel you can’t even function, move away from hurt by “lifting the shield of faith” over you head. The SHIELD will not work against hurt if it is lying on the ground. I like the way the Amplified Version of that verse explains it to us:
“Lift up over all the [covering] shield of saving faith, upon which you can quench all the flaming missiles of the wicked [one].”
If we put others opinions above what God says, we “lower the shield”; we become vulnerable to hurt. Forgiving is an act of faith. Once you forgive, it releases the hurt and you stop reliving it, stop rehearsing it and nursing it. Forgiveness prevents the ‘scab-picking’ and permits the wound to heal through LOVE.